The Bear should not be considered a comedy. I have no idea how this qualifies as a comedy, but me crying or having damn near anxiety attacks truly is not funny. That being said, it is one of my favorite shows currently out. Its unique storytelling and critique on mental health, trauma, and the restaurant industry has opened my eyes to a whole new world. All three seasons have captivated me in some way ( all though Season 2’s Fishes will be an episode I wont revisit for a long time). Through all of this, there are episodes that hold a special place in my heart. Forks where Richie has one of the greatest redemption arcs in all of media, or Ice Chips where we see a deep look at the flawed mother/daughter relationship between Sugar and DeeDee. But there is one episode in particular that has stuck with me in such a way that I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Napkins.
Napkins was the first episode that was directed by Ayo Edibri( The Bears’ second lead ) and it focuses on Tina. Tina , portrayed by Puerto Rican actress Liza Colon-Zayas, is one of the chefs in The Bear who struggled with the changes that restaurant started implementing before coming out on her own. In this particular episode we see her origins of when she used to work at an office, and gets laid off. Tina being a provider and a strong figure in her family, would go an apply to any and every job available. And no matter where she went she either wouldn’t be qualified to the standards of these new potential jobs. Especially pointing out her lack of skills in some of the new required skills that these offices asked of. Dismissing her at every turn. Before she would land one day at The Beef and would meet Mikey. The one person who would listen, and give her a chance even if it wasn’t the greatest job in the world. Working at a messy dysfunctional kitchen.
By the end of the episode I couldn’t help but look at my mother. Remembering all the things she did for me. This story resonated with her I was sure of it. Because she too is exactly like Tina. My mother who had me by herself, had to muster up the strength to work every day to provide me a safe home and life. But it goes far beyond that. People like her don’t like to stay still. They want to help. Its the only thing she knows how to do. And in some ways its expected of them.
Tina’s struggle as a Puerto Rican mother, trying to provide for their family because it is the most important thing to them. To have that purpose. A purpose that gives them very little reward and quite a lot of hardships. Their day to day stress and anxieties rise and they wonder if they can ever be enough, do enough for their families, their friends, for even themselves. The way Tina struggles to find that purpose again it hurts to watch. My mother lost her job in 2016, and for months I watched her try to find her way. Trying to find her way back out into the world. And by chance she also found her “napkins” moment. When she was offered a simple office job that was not worth, but gave her purpose back.
To see these stories unfold is to realize that society doesn’t appreciate these hard workers. They will sell them short, and replace them to gain more efficient, and cost effective measures. What these companies end up doing is sacrificing the heart and soul of these people for their own corporate needs and greed. Even harder on the Spanish Speaking communities, who are constantly promised that by being bilingual that they will ” gain ” more opportunities than others, but that simply isn’t true. They have to fit a criteria, fit in their machine to work the way they need. And they will find their flaws, they are too slow, they cant understand certain projects or tasks, and they cannot last in these fast pace environments. Simply put they are sacrificed. But no one sees their tears, no one sees their silent cries, because they smile and tell us “Don’t worry Ill find another job”. These Napkin Moms and Dads, hide behind their masks so that us the next generation can have the opportunities they can’t have now.
My mother is a Napkin Mother, some one who will hide their tears and keep working despite being passed over and being mistreated. But her she has her purpose. My aunt is a Napkin mother, and my uncle is a Napkin Father. My grandparents. As a child of a Puerto Rican family, I see their work and the storms of shit and disrespect that they have gone through. And behind their smiles is the anxieties of being enough. Well you are enough. And all those other Napkin Parents out there, I pass the napkins to you as well, your tears are seen , and your work is recognized. Because like Tina, you can and will rise out there, because you are all enough in this world.