My life is an open book. It’s something I tell most people. Regarding who I am, my feelings on my family, politics, pop culture, etc. I will always speak my mind if you ask me. I believe that’s the point of attempting to be a writer? To be as transparent as possible with not just an “audience” but with the strangers you meet on a day to day. To inform and entertain. To spread joy and warning to all who wander around. Writing stories, writing articles, telling people about my life and hardships and failures and victories. It’s all part of the game. Which means when I do wish to write about certain things, it’s hard when you struggle to find the time.
Time is such a precious resource and feeling like you are wasting it can be detrimental to not just the mind but also the very soul that we carry. So when I come home tired from work and I cannot find the time to be able to write or even have the mental capacity to just read a book. That’s how I know there’s an issue. For the longest time I have been working two jobs, one from home and one in the retail industry. Times are hard and every one has to make due. And with working two jobs I was able to not just afford simple luxuries but I was able to stay afloat. But what I didn’t know I was paying at the moment was time. The time I could be using, trying to perfect my craft and write.
I ‘ve had ideas for different articles to post on here. I write them all down in a little journal to circle back at a later date. There is a document in my laptop with a roadmap, and a storyboard for a comic book script that I’ve been wanting to sit down and hammer out. A story that has been trying to form for the last 6 months. And my mind has been exhausted. It’s been dying slowly. Working and working and working for hours on end all the while my soul has been disintegrating into nothing.
There is no shame in working two jobs. It was a necessity and I am privileged to not have any major responsibilities outside of paying some bills, taking care of my mother/family, and visiting my wonderful partner across the country. These are things I do not ever blame or regret. But the toil it took to work this office/ work from home was awful. Working hours and hours and hours on a job that felt not only pointless at points, but demeaning. Tough management is one thing, but a small-time business owner thinking they know every single thing, while micromanaging and demanding work from a single department, all the while blaming the very people working their asses off for not doing enough is a wild thing to experience. Mismanagement in leadership is something I cannot respect. It’s people like these who end up taking advantage of the little people and their vulnerable state to squeeze out every single drop of their blood out until they can find a cheaper replacement. This mindset was something I had to escape at some point.
I was blessed luckily to have found the opportunity to take on a full time position at my retail job. While it is not always easy dealing with customers and what not, it has given me a break from the pressure and bad management from my prior work. And more importantly it gives me time. Time to write and return to my craft that I so very much miss.
Work and jobs shouldn’t take your soul and crush every little bit of it. You should not have to beg and pray on Sunday that nothing goes bad on the following work week. If you have a pursuit or dream you have to go for it as best as possible and find the time if you can. And if all you have is a hobby, don’t forget to find time for it either. These little things are the reasons why we can breathe and still be able to keep going. Do not sacrifice every little thing in your life, fun is part of the soul and you have to find a way to balance it all out. And that’s easier said than done of course. Situations change and not everyone has the support needed to pursue their goals, dreams or just to have a break at times. But for those that do have that privilege, please use that power to help others around you when you can. The less we think of just ourselves, the more we can improve not just the lives around you, but yours as well. Do not let your soul die, and don’t let them kill it.
I am back to writing. I am able to finally put out more than ever before. This is not just an exciting time for me but a transformative one. As I will seek to improve my blog and pursue my future comic book writing endeavors. If you wish to support, I just ask you to read my articles every week and share them while you can. And look forward to an extension on my writing. I have been encouraged to share my thoughts on films so I will be writing weekly reviews for movies I watch and listing out everything at the end of the month. I am no longer letting my soul die as I finally am able to share my words once more.
Coqui Coqui
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