Happy belated New Year to everyone! The holiday season can take such a toll on many people and most important, takes a lot of time. But with it over I can get back to writing and putting my random ass thoughts out into the world. Even more so now since we have entered one of my favorite times of the year. Film season! While I might not be a professional film critic, I love to try and watch as many of these critically acclaimed films as possible. My mother and I attempt to always watch the Best Film nominations and make our educated guesses for all the winners. Truly its a fun season for movie watchers every where.
As the season comes into full bloom, I can’t help but reminisce of how this all started for me. My love of films and how I slowly began to watch more artistic and applauded movies. Its been ingrained into my DNA since birth honestly, while other babies would struggle to stay quiet and fuss at a movie theatre, my mother would have no issue. She would just sit me down, the lights would dim, and suddenly my little eyes would stay glued to the screen. My earliest memory of watching a movie was seeing Toy Story 2 in theatres. Its very foggy at this point but I remember the scene of Woody getting fixed by that Toy Maker and being hypnotized by the music and whimsy. Another memory that is vague but my mother won’t let me forget was watching E.T with her. I was sat on her lap and I was determined to watch the movie all the way through as a 3 year old, despite my urge to pee. And unfortunate to my mother, I did not tell her, which resulted in her getting a wet lap. What can I say? I was determined to finish the movie.
Several people in my life have taken me to the movies, and have even bought DVDs for me. Most prominent is my grandfather, who during the summers would take my cousins and I to the movies every week to see the latest summer blockbusters. Including one year where we watched The Incredible Hulk and Journey to the Center of the Earth on the same day. Grandpa loves the movies just as much as me. He would show me some of the classics that he loved, and I would go through his collection and always find movies that I was WAY too young to understand, for example Midnight Cowboy which I saw at 13. I did not truly grasp the severity of the gigolo attempting to sell himself in the street in New York back during my first watch, but I did understand the strange friendship he developed with Dustin Hoffmans Rizzo. Its one of my grandfathers favorite films and it was wonderful to share that memory with him. He also introduced me to West Side Story which would be a key part in helping me fall in love with musical theatre. There is so much that film has done to contribute aspects of my personality. My love for comics, theatre, philosophy, and even writing can all be attributed to movies.
These days I find different ways to go to the movies all the time. Streaming is a common way of course, but I love to go to the movies with my mother and grandfather still. It’s ironic how the wheel of time turns, now I take THEM to the movies. I go by myself on occasion. Like last month, where I took the time to watch Flow, an animated film that has been acclaimed and nominated for the Golden Globe, and Critics Choice award. A beautiful film that takes the visual medium to a whole new level and doesn’t need dialogue to tell a compelling story. I adore finding all sorts of films that not everyone has either heard of, or doesn’t get wide releases. I love commercial films but I am truly finding my way through watching more variety in my life, from indie, to foreign, to documentaries and so much more. And it encourages me that during my humdrum life, there is an escape, and there is art out there that can reach my heart.
With 2024 now closed, I look back to the movies I watched and think about where I am in my life. 27 and still on the search for my own self. My own identity and story. Its scary out there, and even scarier when you wish to tell people stories. Stories can be personal and hard. Its not easy putting yourself out there. Which is why we distract ourselves with work, with family and loved ones, and even vices. Watching films can sometimes jog me back on track and remind me that I have to keep trying. That the burnout I might be experiencing doesn’t have to feel this way. My mind is creative for a reason and this fear doesn’t need to overtake me anymore. I think my favorite movie of last year, Look Back. An adaptation of a one shot manga by Tatsuki Fujimoto ( the creator of Chainsaw Man) a story of a young girl who loves to draw and her journey into becoming a mangaka. I think about her doubts, and her insecurities. Her fear that she wasnt a good enough artist to create a manga, her ideals in giving up and wanting to choose a different life. But drawing kept coming back to her, and it brought her a friend, it brought her success, and it brought her grief, and at the end of it all she asks the important question “Why do it at all?”. And the movie reminds me that going through that as an artist is a part of life. Because when we love to create we seek it out. I love stories and although I fear to write something that can reach the masses and be criticized due to my lack of experience and education. I realize that I love writing too much. Film reminds me the best of myself should always prevail. So this year I plan to go forward with not just writing more but to be officially published. I want to Look Back.
Films remind me of my love of creativity. Films remind me that everyone has their own story and we all seek something out. Whether its escapism, entertainment, acceptance, or simple understanding. Films bring people together. And while the landscape of movies might seem bleak with an overwhelming amount of remakes, prequels, sequels, franchises and fear of putting diverse stories out there due to a lack of media literacy and fear of political retaliation. There are still films that execute wonderful imaginations, heartfelt experiences, and proper look at our realities. So I encourage to go to the movies! Because trust me, they make life better, and yes that was reference to Nicole Kidman. Happy New Year!